Capitalism in stereotypes and reality

Little something pretty funny I got from our Brazilian intern Luiz :)

Ideal capitalism: you have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. They start reproducing, the economy grows. You sell the cattle and retire... rich!

American capitalism: you have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce as much milk as four cows. You get really surprise when the cow dies.

French capitalism: you have two cows. You strike for the rights of having three cows.

Canadian capitalism: you have two cows. You follow the american capitalism model and the cows die. You accuse the Brazilian protecionism and adopt protecionist policies to get the three french cows for yourself.

Japanese capitalism: you have two cows, uh? You redesign them so they are 10 times smaller and produce 20 times more milk. After that you create a cartoon called Cattlemon and sell it for the whole world.

Italian capitalism: you have two cows. One of them is your mother, the other is you mother-in-law, maledetto!!!

British capitalism: you have two cows. They are both mad.

Dutch capitalism: you have two cows. They live together, they don't like bulls. It's all right.

German capitalism: you have two cows. They produce milk in a very punctual and regular fashion, following very well defined standards
resulting in a very well estimated profit. But actually you wish you had pigs, but you don't think about it when you're drinking beer with sausages and sauerkraut.

Russian capitalism: you have two cows. You count them and you realize you actually have five. You count again and you have forty-two. You count once again and you have twelve. You stop counting and open another bottle of vodka.

Swiss capitalism: you have 500 cows, but none of them is yours. You charge people to keep their cows.

Spanish capitalism: you are very proud you have two cows.

Portuguese capitalism: you have two cows... and you always complain because your cattle number does not rise.

Chinese capitalism: you have two cows and 300 people to get milk from them. You are very proud of having job for everybody and so high productivity. Then you arrest and kill the activist who came up with the numbers.

Indian capitalism: you have two cows. NOBODY TOUCH THEM!

Argentinean capitalism: you have two cows. You try hard to make them speak English and act like European cows... they die. You give the meat to the IMF for the end-of-year barbecue.

Brazilian capitalism: you have two cows. One of them is stolen. The government create a new tax called the CCCP - Compulsory Contribution for Cows Property. A government person comes and charges you because, even though you had paid the CCCP, you paid the wrong amount. This is due to the fact that the amount you have to pay is calculated based on the presumed number of cows instead of the actual number of cows you own. The government, using presumed data about your milk, cheese and leather shoes consumption, presumes you have 200 cows. To get yourself out of trouble, you give your only cow left to the government person and he leaves everything as it is...